Much thought has gone into which paper plates and cups and such we should choose for her party (insert rant about how there only seem to be blue footballers and pink princesses available for, just, EVERYTHING at this age) and what kind of cake she would like and all of those things that are super fun to plan. She painted little invitations (which I am a bad mother and have delayed sending out because we've been rather busy) - each one has a picture that Audrey has painted of a "beautiful sea polyp".
I keep thinking about how much of this she will remember, if anything. I have memories from around her age, although they are vague and hazy. I often wonder which memory will be her first. I wonder if, when she's all grown up, we will sit together and talk about this time and what she remembers of it. I feel the weight of the responsibility of that, but also the privilege of it.
I tell her often that I always wanted to be a mama, always wanted a little girl just like her. It's mostly to remind myself - I am actually doing it, I am getting to do what I have wanted to since I was a little girl myself who was obsessed with dolls and tiny buggies. It's a good reminder to enjoy it! For all the times I'm grumpy or just want some quiet, alone time, I think about that little girl - little me. I imagine her rolling her eyes at me. It's enough to give me some perspective.
No comments:
Post a Comment