Loved Up

Three years in, and I am loving motherhood so hard. Yes it's hard work, no one would ever say that it wasn't, but I love it so much that I can barely put words to it.

Audrey at three years old is incredibly loving and affectionate. She tells me she loves me daily, she tells me she likes me, she tells me I'm her friend. It's an indescribable feeling every time she does.

You guys, I miss her right now. She's asleep upstairs and I miss her and can't wait to go up and hug her and tell her I love her and snuggle up next to her and fall asleep.

I know it sounds overblown and sentimental and silly. I don't even care.

I love reading stories with her.

I love spending all day out in the rain with her.

I love making giant siphonophores in the bath out of old plastic Easter eggs with her.

I love growing sunflowers with her.

I love jumping around with her.

I love nursing her.

I love it when we're out walking and she takes my hand.

I love "MOON CHEESE!"

I love her grin.

I love playing catch.

I love watching videos.

I love it when she wants us both to squeeze onto one chair.

I love train trips with her.

I love sitting next to her on the bus.

I love cooking with her.

And I don't even care if this post is ridiculous and sappy. I know how lucky I am, and I'm not going to pretend this isn't the best thing I've ever been part of.

30

I'm way behind, as always, but my birthday was in March and we had the most beautiful day out at Linlithgow. Yummy hot chocolate in little cafes, walks along the lake to see all the beautiful water birds, and then a spooky visit to the old ruined palace (we were the only ones there and it was very atmospheric). Fun!

Om nom nom.

Okay, there were a LOT of birds.

Linlithgow is beautiful when it's just edging into Spring.

Architecture! History! Pretty stuff!

Beautiful old castle. Really beautiful. (Much better than Edinburgh Castle!)

It was like walking into a fantasy novel. Only cooler. I wish I could convey to you the scale of this place, and how impossible it seemed that it was real.

A wonderful birthday!

Poetry

Audrey and I are very different people - this is already very apparent. Audrey, like Ian, is a night owl - I am definitely more of a morning person. Audrey likes lots of noise, lots of movement. I tend to prefer activities that are quiet, peaceful and solitary.

Oh, and that reminds me - Audrey is incredibly social. There's nothing she loves more than seeing friends of all ages. And while I love having friends, I also value my alone time very highly.

I love our differences, but I'll admit that when I find something we have in common, it is very precious.

Lately, one of those things I've found is poetry. Most people who know me know I love poetry, if love is a big enough word for it, and up until recently Audrey has shown little interest in the nursery rhymes I've read to her. She will happily listen to stories/rhymes to some extent - every day we read at least a few books together - but still it has never been one of her favourite things.

That was fine with me. She enjoyed reading but it wasn't her number one go-to thing as it had been for me growing up. It's okay for her to like different things to me, and in any case she's only three. Things change, she might get more into it as she gets older and more able to read for herself.

But recently several friends have given us volumes of child-accessible poetry. Poetry that is beautiful and can be appreciated by all ages. A very thoughtful gift! Audrey and I have been reading them a lot, and she is loving them. She listens intently as I read them out loud, and asks for them more than any other book.

It's such treasure, to spend time with her like this doing something we both love. It's been a very bonding experience and a taste, I hope, of what the future might hold for us as mother and daughter.

Here comes the sun

Today was one of those days, one of those "Life - you are doing it right" days. We have quite enough of the other sorts of days, but occasionally one of these comes along and makes everything sweeter and more valuable.

Each week I organise (for a very loose definition of organise) an outing for the early years section of our home education network. I post a list of ten in advance, all things that Audrey and I will enjoy doing, and tell people they are welcome to come along or not as they like. It works well, and is low pressure and fun.

Today we went to the steam railway at Bo'ness with some of our home ed friends. It was a beautiful sunny day and we went there on the coach.

We played in the train museum, we played by the harbour, we played on big rocks and in the grass.

Then we went on the steam train.

You guys. We went on a steam train!

Oh my word. The kids loved it. They shrieked and squealed their happy, excited way along the track and back. It was the most joyous thing I've seen in a long time. It did me good.

I'm feeling so grateful for our friends lately. What a beautiful day.