In another year's turning

We've been away at my grandparents' house for the past week or so, in a Land Of No Internet, so I've got a lot to catch up on!

Being away was actually a wonderful time to unwind, and I really appreciated being disconnected for a while. I was more present for my family, got more done, wrote letters and knitted and went for walks - all the things I love and don't have enough time for when they're competing with work and websites.

I've rekindled my love of co-sleeping. We went through a rocky patch there right before we went away, baby was hitting the 8 month sleep regression hard and getting her to sleep was more like a fight than the sweet, hushed, gentle experience it usually is. So you can imagine that I was somewhat dreading getting her to sleep in new surroundings with our usual routines turned upside down and without even a double bed to lie down with her in! For the first night we tried the travel cot which my Nana so thoughtfully organised for us, but after what felt like hours of pacing and rocking and shushing only to put her down and have her wake up crying instantly, we abandoned that idea. Cots can be great - they're just not for us. We're attachment parents all the way, baby! With a beautifully confident, happy baby to show for it.

So I settled down with her in the tiny little camp bed in the the tiny little room we were staying in, and gathered the blankets around us, and right off to sleep she fell, snuggled up against me. We spent the rest of our nights like that, her asleep in my arms and fitting so perfectly beside me. It was blissful, and she slept like a dream. I know co-sleeping is not for everyone, but it is definitely for us. We both sleep better, and it feels right. There's nothing like waking up slowly to her sweet little smiles, her soft hands on my face, her so-content babbling. It beats waking up to screams through a baby monitor hands down.

I was nervous about the train journey down to Blackpool - 4 hours on a train with a baby and way too much luggage to comfortably heft about sounded like a recipe for disaster. But Audrey was a star, nothing but happy and excited to be on the train. She had a good nap (as did Ian), and then spent the rest of the time looking out the window at the passing sheep and rain and mountains, and eating apple and rice cakes.

We had a day either end of our visit where it was just us and my grandparents, and those days were precious and quiet. I talked to my Nana about knitting and listened to my Grandad sing songs in Welsh.

On the Friday we went to lunch with my Aunty Christine and some of her family. There was my cousin Charlotte and her husband Simon, and their children Barnaby, Charlie and baby Poppy. There was my cousin Jason and his wife Tessa, and their children Emily and Harry. There was my Nana and Grandad, my uncle Alan and my Aunty Christine. We took up a fair amount of space at Scorton, the wee restaurant my grandparents always go to.

That lady right there is a great great grandmother. That means that her grandchildren have grandchildren (my Aunty Christine's son Chris is a grandparent). She's the grand matriarch of our family, and we love her.

My sister Holly and her partner Sam arrived on Friday evening in time to say goodnight to Audrey Bea, and my sister Kate arrived with my mum and stepdad a few hours later. A more-than-full house! Having family with us made Christmas so special. I felt incredibly lucky.

On Christmas Eve us girls went to the local garden centre on a mission to choose a Christmas tree ornament for Audrey. It's a little tradition I'm starting where I give her an ornament each year, and when she leaves home in many, many years and has her own tree she can take them all with her, a little record of all our Christmases together.

It was beautiful, even more so than I imagined it would be. Somewhere between all the twinkling lights and Audrey's little face lighting up in absolute wonder and excitement at the reindeer and sparkly carousels and the life-size talking Santa, I got all emotional and tearful. I could barely believe that it was really happening - my baby's first Christmas.

Audrey was crawling around all over the place and pulling herself up constantly.

After the sun set we all trooped down to the greenhouse, where my Nana sets up a Christmas grotto every year with a tree, cotton wool snow man, twinkly lights and lots of chocolates. Take a look at her little face.

We got her all snuggled up in new pyjamas by firelight, then off to bed to wait for Christmas and presents and turkey.

She didn't sleep very well! And we were wide awake by 6am and ready for PRESENTS!

She got a lot of love from everyone - Christmas is really special with young children around.

Then the Christmas dinner! Audrey had melon, followed by turkey and cabbage and carrots. Yum!

It was such a wonderful day. It meant a lot to me to be able to introduce Audrey to my uncle John, who visited for a little while.

On Boxing Day we went to visit my Aunty Christine and her family - endless cousins and second cousins and so on! There was yummy food and lots of love, it was wonderful to see everyone.

Audrey got to say hi to her wee cousin Poppy who was born just 7 weeks after Audrey. Poppy had just cut her first tooth!

Then there was just time for a few final hugs, and we were off home again.

Last night was New Year's Eve and I was thinking, like so many, about resolutions and intentions, what I want to make out of the year that stretches in front of us like a crisp, new sheet of paper. I want to go on more adventures, spend more time with family, help more animals, be more organised with my precious time. I want to give more and do more, I want to go to more mum and baby groups and I want to put more photos up around our home. It all boils down to this: I want to live more intentionally. To waste less time. To be aware of my true priorities. To boil everything down and make it more concentrated - more work, more fun, more family. More memories. More living. Less guilt and stress.

I can't wait.

Oh Christmas Tree

Okay, I know, I know. We're the latest ever. But today we put our Christmas tree up!

In our defense, busy doesn't even begin to cover the state of things for our family lately. This time of year is always the busiest and most difficult time at the shelter, and on top of that we're going away for nearly a week to my grandparents' house over Christmas - the longest we've ever been away from home with Audrey Bea. It's hectic, but it's also wonderful. That sentence right there could be the story of my life!

But oh, tonight was so beautiful. There was one point when the tree was up and twinkling with multi-coloured lights, and Bing Crosby was crooning Little Drummer Boy from my laptop, and Audrey was sat in my lap. We turned the lights off, and watched her little face as she stared at the tree with her mouth open and her eyes so wide. There are moments when being a parent is tough, really tough, but I love it anyway. This wasn't one of those moments. It was so perfect, and I was so aware of how quickly this first Christmas will flash by and how important are the memories we're making right now, today, that it brought me to tears.

Sappy, I know. But real, I promise you.

She still loves to sit and watch the birds through the window with the cat. Because it's just super fun, okay.

In other news she's been pulling herself up to standing as often as she can possibly manage lately. It's her new all time favourite thing ever, and she's getting really good at it - she's mastered the one-handed stand, and last night she stood for a good few seconds totally unsupported, no hands at all, until Ian and I both noticed and exclaimed "oh wow, clever girl!" and surprised her into toppling over!

She's so much fun. It's pure joy spending time with her, and I feel so lucky every day lately. I'm so very, very happy.

Having Ian off work has also been wonderful. He's got three weeks off work this Christmas, and we're making the most of every moment we have together as a family.

Now I've got to be off. There are baubles to hang, and scented candles to light. And that Christmas knitting won't finish itself.

Wings

Oh my goodness Audrey is so much fun right now. She can crawl like a pro, and she pulls herself up to standing on absolutely anything she can grab on to. She can balance with one hand, and has even tried a couple of times to balance with no hands! She's whizzing forward and a part of me wants to beg her to slow down, to stay little just for a moment longer, while another part of me is so proud and so excited of how she's moving ahead fiercely and brightly into the next stages of her development.

Right now I'm loving her big cuddles, her funny faces, her pointing at noses and mouths and her wonky waving. I'm loving how she reaches out for me and pulls herself into my arms, how she's delighted by mirrors and how her love of books is really taking off. I'm loving how she bounces along to music and bangs rattles on biscuit tins to make fun noises, how she lights up when I sing Christmas carols to her.

She's really enjoying social activities lately, so my new year's resolution will be to take her along to more play groups of various kinds. We currently enjoy visiting the library where we play with fun toys and books and watch the "big children" (toddlers) with very wide eyes, and going to our breastfeeding group and to Patchwork.

Sleep has been all over the place lately, but who cares about sleep when there's crawling and playing to be done?

She's pure sunshine just now, and it's wonderful. I love the way she throws herself into everything, and digs the joy out of it. I think I can learn a lot from her.

Today she tried chicken for the first time, and was SIGNIFICANTLY impressed! She wolfed it down so fast she gave herself hiccups. She's already had beef in shepherd's pie and wasn't all that impressed, I think the simpler flavour of the chicken was easier for her to process. We don't cook a lot of meat here, being somewhat vegetarian (I am occasionally eating meat while still breastfeeding in an attempt to keep my iron levels up naturally, after getting anaemic and finding that iron supplements soooo don't agree with me), so a lot of the protein in our diets comes from beans and pulses and tofu/quorn etc. So cooking meat for Audrey is a bit of a departure from the norm for us, but it's been quite successful so far! (Next stop, fish!)

On the subject of food, she tried pineapple for the first time yesterday and how I wish I'd had my camera to hand! She did not expect it to be so strong tasting, I can safely say. She pulled such a funny face! She quite liked it though, and sucked on a juicy chunk of it for nearly half an hour, gnawing away on the tough rind which I think felt good against her gums. Still no teeth, but they're coming!

Oh, and remember Audrey's friend Oliver? Look how they've grown!

They grow so very fast. It's breathtaking.